i wanna watch a scary movie with you and we get so scared we accidently end up having sex somehow
kawrying: so its 2:17 am and my window is open and i burped really loudly and i heard someone yell “what the fuck”
Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
I never found that spider. What if I go to sleep then it bites me and I die!
Reblog if you're a cuddler.
This episode of Grey’s Anatomy really freaks me out. I am shaking and everything. Probably not the best episode to watch before I go to bed.
SKINNY: underestimatedoswinfangirl:... →
underestimatedoswinfangirl: realtired-ofyourshitmasterwayne: johnnydepps: iamjonwanker: yes mom he’s 49 but he’s really hot yes mom he’s 47 but he’s really hot yes mom he’s 30 but he’s really hot yes mom he’s 34 but he’s really hot yes mom he’s…
I fucking hate spiders!! They piss me. I just want to kill them all. Be outside thats okay, but when ou come into my house nope thats not okay. you are going to die!
*not hot enough*
*turns knob 1/16th of an inch*
Satan himself pours out of your shower head and licks your back seductively.
Guess who passed business law, this girl right here!!!!!!!! Thank god!!!
tennants-companion: so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack
windicuffs-tier: windicuffs-tier: what if when we fall asleep and we start dreaming it’s actually just alternate universe versions of us waking up and when we’re awake that’s their time to sleep I CAN ALREADY TELL THAT THIS IS A POST I SHOULD NOT HAVE MADE
does anyone else suddenly feel insanely insecure when someone incredibly attractive looks you in the eye